(neon sign buzzing) – Folks, we ready? – I am. – (stammering) Yes, you
go; I’ll figure it out. – I will have the filet
mignon with whipped potatoes. – And for you, miss? – I… will have… the… shit salad. – [Waiter] Thank you. – Shit salad? – I don’t know, I just panicked and I ordered the first thing I saw. – You don’t even like shit. Why don’t you just grab the waiter and tell him you want something different. – No, no, I’m not gonna be rude. They’re probably already making the shit. – It’s not rude, just get what you want. – No, you know what? Honestly, it’s fine. The more were talking about it, I actually think I’m kind
of getting in the mood for (pausing) shit. – [Waiter] For the gentleman. – Mmm, that looks good.
– That looks really good. – And for you, miss. For your shit salad? – Yes, please. A little more. – [Waiter] Very good. – Okay. – [Waiter] Enjoy. – At last it’s a lotta shit. Sometimes you get a shit salad and it’s just one little rabbit poo. – Oh, ew! There’s onions in it. Wanna do splitsies? – You can’t retroactively call splitsies. I got a steak so that I
wouldn’t have to eat shit. – You sure? I mean, look at this thing. It’s so leafy and shitty and… Who am I kidding? This salad is shit. – How is everything for you folks? – Everything is so good.
– It is really good. The shit is cooked perfectly. – I hear that. She says that. – That’s phenomenal. – I’ll just get it to go and
secretly throw it out later. – Don’t waste food. If you’re gonna be a baby, just give me your shit salad; I’ll eat it. – Really?
– Yeah. – Okay. That’s better. – You know, you really shouldn’t order something you don’t want. Grow up, Emily. It’s cold. What’s up, the world? From award-holders Murph and Emily comes a new web series called Hot Date. – That’s right, it’s gonna
be coming to you weekly. And if we play our cards right, maybe we’ll actually win one of these. – Yes, these are other people’s. – These are other people’s. – But (pausing) we’re holding them, so who’s the real winner?