Hi, I’m Kate McLennan. I spend my days cooking for the
people that I love. Hi, I’m Kate McCartney. I spend my days not being an
arsehole. – Welcome to…
– The Katering Show! Back when I first met McCartney, she
didn’t care about food, and we had hardly anything to talk about. But all that changed when McCartney
was diagnosed with a terminal illness. Food intolerances. I have food
intolerances. Whatever. We used to think that food
intolerances were the purview of attention seekers. Or people who just wanted to jazz up
their eating disorders. But we were wrong. It turns out I, too, am intolerant to
many foods. Bread. Garlic. Onion… Cream. Cheese. Cream cheese. Doctors told me if I didn’t give up
these foods, I’d probably keep (BLEEP) my pants. Keep… What do you mean, “keep”? So I eliminated all the foods I
couldn’t eat, which was everything I normally ate,
except vodka. My dear, dear friend was dying of
malnutrition. And I had a pretty bad drinking
problem. And even worse, she was missing out
on the food culture revolution that was happening all around her. Street food. Raw food. Cooked food. Food porn. Regular porn. She was missing out on all of it. So I’ve decided, if McCartney can’t
join the revolution, then I’m gonna bring the revolution
to her. That’s right, McLennan’s gonna
teach me how to cook food that Katers to my
needs. Which is a very funny play on words. It is, it really is. “Katers”, of course, starts with a K. – Order for George?
– That’s us. Here we are in The Katering Show
kitchen. Our inbox is chock-a-block
full of emails from viewers. – Is it?
– Yes. – Already?
– Yes. Anne Edmonds writes, “Hi, Kate,
love the show.” Aw! – Thanks, Anne.
– That’s lovely. “Just wondering, what can’t you eat
exactly?” Well, Anne, rather than spend
the next half an hour saying them, here’s a list of the foods
I can’t eat. Yeah, McCartney’s a real nightmare. Thank you. Luckily, I love a challenge. That’s why we’re going to kick off
her food journey with her most problematic and
favourite cuisine, “Me-hican”. Mexican isn’t my favourite. We’re going to make some
“Me-hican” quesadillas using beans, tomato, onion, cheese,
guacamole, salsa and some tortillas. According to the internet,
the only two ingredients I can have from a quesadilla are
these two things. Look, that meal of tortilla and
tomato might be OK if you’re poor, but certainly not something
I’m gonna serve up here in my recently renovated
kitchen. This isn’t your kitchen. That’s why we’re going to employ
the method of… (SINGS) substitute onion
for asafoetida, substitute beans for mushrooms… Can’t have mushrooms. Substitute beans for something brown. Substitute guacamole for… So, I picked up this quesadilla
recipe on my recent travels to Mexico. A lot of people are really afraid to
go to Mexico because of the drug cartels and the abductions, but I lived there for nine days
and I can tell you for a fact that stuff just does not even happen. The Mexican people are such
a vibrant and colourful people who have this amazing lust for life. (BLENDER DROWNS SPEECH) ..siesta, which sounds lazy… (BLENDER DROWNS SPEECH) ..he was very short. So, alright, I think we’re done
with all of this. McCartney, why don’t you go do
your booze revooze and I might get started on your substitute quesadilla as well
while we’re at it. – OK.
– What? Thanks to my guts, I can’t drink
beer, wine, cider or Bailey’s Irish Cream,
which is a genuine tragedy. But tequila is intolerant-friendly,
weirdly, even though drinking it will make
you intolerable to every single person around you. If margaritas are the best drink
in the world, which they are, frozen margaritas cut through
space and time. They’re best enjoyed at a
Mexican chain restaurant as you drunkenly refuse
a free sombrero. Frozen margarita. Mm, delicious. And very, very alcoholic. I give it five starting-a-midnight-
fight-with-the-postboxes out of five. OK, so we’re going to get
our quesadillas out of the oven. Oh, they look good. Look at those. They’re all crispy and brown on top. They look delicious. Alright, so what we’re going to do
is just serve them up on these beautiful plates. Look at those. They’re gorgeous. And I’m just going to pop McCartney’s
guacamole on now. OK, great. There we go,
our delicious “Me-hican” quesadillas. For McCartney’s intolerant
quesadilla, we’ve substituted beans
for brown rice, guacamole for potato and food dye,
cheese for a calcium tablet, salsa verde with nothing, and we’ve
replaced onion with asafoetida, an Indian spice that tastes
like farts. OK, now we’re going to recreate
the food truck dining experience of eating in a gutter…
by eating in a gutter. So, here we are in the gutter. There’s just something
about eating outside. There’s so much atmosphere out here. We’re gonna get murdered. Let’s tuck in. To good food and even better
friendship. Gross. Mm. Mm. No, that’s disgusting. I’m not eating it. I thought you’d say that. So I got you this Japanese
home delivery. Oh, thank you! – Aw! Can we eat this inside?
– Mm. – In front of the TV?
– Yeah. Aw, come on, let’s go, then. This was a terrible idea. (BURBLING)
Was that your stomach? Yeah. How many quesadillas did you eat? Too many. Oh, buddy. Ooh. You look like you’re in your second
trimester over there.