-We are about to play "Secret Ingredient." [ Cheers and applause ] Joining me for the game, please welcome Mario Batali! [ Cheers and applause ] Ashton Kutcher! [ Cheers and applause ] Liam Payne! [ Cheers and applause ] And the newest judge on "So You Think You Can Dance,"
(neon sign buzzing) - Folks, we ready? - I am. - (stammering) Yes, you go; I'll figure it out. - I will have the filet mignon with whipped potatoes. - And for you, miss? - I... will have... the... shit salad. - [Waiter] Thank you. - Shit salad? - I don't
LET'S JUMP RIGHT INTO IT. DID ANYBODY SEE THE BIG HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP FIGHT THIS WEEKEND. IT WAS TYSON FURY DEFEATED DEONTAY WILDER IN THE 7th ROUND T WAS A SPECTACLE BUT IT CAME OUT TODAY THAT WILD CERTIFICATE NOW BLAMING HIS LOSS IN THE FIGHT ON THE COSTUME THAT HE WORE INTO THE
Do you guys know the product Meow Mix? Do you know that product Meow Mix? Yeah, you know it's a, uh – a cat food? For your pet? A Meow Mi– a supper for your cat? Meow Mix? At the grocer's? Well anyway, I see the commercial for Meow Mix... In case you
NOW I KNOW, I KNOW WHY YOU'RE ALL SO HAPPY. BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL CELEBRATING THE FACT THAT TODAY WAS NATIONAL FAST FOOD DAY HERE IN AMERICA. (APPLAUSE) YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING AM ARE YOU LIKE WHAT, I ACCIDENTLY CELEBRATED THAT THE LAST 364 DAYS.>>YOU FLOW WHEN THE BIG FAST FOOD CHAINS
WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY. I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF ) SO GOOD TO TO BE BACK. I'VE MISSED THESE PEOPLE. THIS WEEKEND, DEMOCRATS DID SOMETHING THAT ONCE SEEMED UNIMAGINABLE: THEY COUNTED THE VOTES IN A CAUCUS. ( LAUGHTER ) I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT IT
What goes on behind the doors of this industrial farming facility will make you think twice about ever eating fast food again. It's not just beaks, feet and gizzards that go into your favorite fried nugget, the processed chicken America consumes every day contains countless assholes. Real assholes. "Hey, quit shovin', fuckhead!"