What goes on behind the doors of this
industrial farming facility will make you think twice about ever eating fast food again. It’s not just beaks, feet and gizzards
that go into your favorite fried nugget, the processed chicken America consumes
every day contains countless assholes. Real assholes. “Hey, quit shovin’, fuckhead!” “I was here first, shitnuts!” “Shut up both of you! It’s starting!” “This week on Starfuckerz: which hot celebs are drunker and more racist than you?” “Eh, probably none of ’em!” “YEAH!” Millions at the farm animals we thoughtlessly consume are actually immature, selfish, ignorant jerks. “Yeah support our troops. I
support our troops suckin’ my big ol’ dick! Our troops are dumb!” “Hell yeah. Dumb as hell.” But jagoff chickens aren’t the only atrocities on this farm. The beef we by the ton is loaded with
growth hormones and steroids. Why? Because they think it makes them cool. “Lift it, pussy!” Studies have shown this meat contains self tanner and amber musk far exceeding the
recommended FDA allowance. “What the fuck is this? Your fence scratched my shit, dog. This is premium leather. It cost more than your mom cost last night, broham!” “It’s company policy to have a fence here
sir!” are you crying “Are you crying, bro?” “Heh, yeah!” “What the fuck?!” If you are what you eat… are you sure you want to eat these
idiots? Please… don’t look away. “If we landed on the moon,
how come no one’s ever seen Neil Armstrong UP CLOSE?” “FDR blew up the real moon in 1941 A piece of it hit Pearl Harbor!” “Can you guys get out of my water please?” “This isn’t YOUR water, man. It’s GOD’S water!” “Fascist!” “Oh, no no no. The meat is edible. It’s perfectly edible. But God, who would
want to? I mean, they’re such total dickshafts! A rooster called me the n-word.” It’s time to put a stop to these
fast food monsters. Hipster sheep: “Well, everything he made after Bottle Rocket was complete garbage.” Apologist cod: “Chris Brown is the real
victim! Of the pressures of fame!” And eggs who believe ridiculous extrapolations of Randian philosophy: “Unchecked capitalism is the only truth in this sorry world!” “If we would just go back to the gold
standard we could reclaim our country from the illegals!” Don’t let these abhorrent practices go
unchecked. Won’t you please stop eating assholes? I mean, kill them. By all means. Please! Jesus! But for your health and conscience only
eat nice animals. Is that so much to ask? Paid for by
Zillers Wholesome Foods and the Meek Meat Council. “I wuv you!”