– I love coffee like I
am obsessed with coffee. – On average, I would drink
about four to five cups a day. – I’m a true man of Dunkin’ Donuts who is the only winner right here. – Dunkin’ Donuts is my jam, okay? Starbucks tastes like
a homeless man’s toe. – Oh, this hot water sure is nice. – Yeah, this is the worst, 7-Eleven. – That is water that someone
just like peed in or shit in. – It’s pee water. – Watery to the point that
I don’t know if I’m here at BuzzFeed or white water rafting. – Nope, nope, see, you
know, when you drink it, OK, I like to imagine
myself on a porch in Maine. – The sun is rising. – Sip it and if you feel good – No
– like with that picture. No, you don’t feel good. – That is also non distinct. – Yeah, I’m right back on that waterfall. – Do you have cream with
your coffee every morning? Cause I’m wondering if this
is just how coffee tastes without cream and sugar in it. Like water and dirt. I like this one. – Yeah, this one’s nice. – This is definitely sweeter,
there’s notes of vanilla. – It’s very woodsy. – Yup. – Woodsy and watery, a
stream through a wood. – I like it, it’s smooth and
it’s delicious and it’s rich. – But it’s not too much. – Yeah. – I hate when coffee just
smacks you in the face. – Don’t like it. – Oh, oh. – Smack this, smack this, literally what we were talking about. – Oh man, I took too big of a gulp. – Easy, I don’t even need
to drink it, it’s Starbucks. I don’t even like Starbucks.
– Yeah, that’s Starbucks. – Thank you. – Oh, that already has a little more bite. A little more. – It’s like the whiskey of coffee, this is pretty strong. – I think that is just hot whiskey. I keep drinking it. – I know, it’s addictive. – Oh, this is Dunkin’. – Yeah? – Smell it. – It does smell like New England. – Oh, this is Dunkin’ Donuts. – I know what New England smells like because I was born in New England. – How do I describe this? Blah, blergh. How do you describe something so utterly boring and watered down? – There’s complexity. – Yes. – I think there’s like total
complexity in this little cup. I guess if you do that it tastes good. – Well, (beeping) they all suck. This is really bad. – I don’t know, it’s like in the middle. It’s like… – It’s like flat, like dark. – Meh. – You know, I mean… – Meh, meh. – This one’s our favorite. – Yeah, mutual. – Yeah, go Starbucks, good job Starbucks. That is so distinctly
above every thing else on this line up. – Starbucks? – Oh, my God, I am so
against big business. – We’re basic! – We’re basic bitches. – Cheers. – [Voiceover] That’s McDonald’s. – That’s McDonald’s? Are you kidding me? No way! I feel like I’ve cheated
on Dunkin’ Donuts. Damn you, McDonald’s. Is this Dunkin’? This shitty thing is? No, it’s not, oh, my God, I’m so sorry. Wow. – I just drooled.