Hi my name is Matt. Welcome to Bless Your Rank, and today we are ranking fast food sweet teas. We asked our
Facebook supporters which sweet teas from fast food restaurants are their
favorite? And then we are taking that group and we are ranking those. Because
there are a gazillion fast-food restaurants out there, and if they’re
basically if you’re fast-food restaurant in the South you have to serve sweet tea.
That’s in the US Constitution. I didn’t make that rule. These are technically the
best of the best and we’re going to determine who is the best of the best of
the best. It’s a lot of “bestes.” I’m jacked
up and I haven’t had any sugar yet. That’s the thing. I’m here right now I
can’t imagine where I’m gonna be at after seven sweet teas. In the bathroom
more than likely. Competitor number one Chick-Fil-A. I’ve had this a few times.
Chick-Fil-A’s best drink though is the lemonade. Sure that is some delicious
freshly squeezed lemonade. So I’m picking up strong hints of tea, and it’s cold so
it means it’s iced tea. That’s good, it’s definitely got a lot of sugar in it, as sweet
tea should. Uhh . . .but it’s not so much that it killed the tea flavor, because that’s the
thing sometimes you to hold a sweet tea and they’ve dumped four bags of sugar
into it. And it just come, that’s all you taste. But this this is a good ratio of
tea to to sugar. And we don’t give Chick-Fil-A a
lot of credit on this but their ice is not bad. They get little pebble ice, but
it’s not super small pebble ice, but it’s not giant chunk ice which I don’t like.
That just takes up more real estate in your cup, and that means more ice, less
tea. Nobody wins! This is the Lord’s tea. This was anointed before it was served
to me. It’s not the best tasting tea I’ve ever had. But fast food sweet tea, that’s
pretty darn good. That’s not grandma’s tea. That is church
potluck tea. Well right now Chick-Fil-A is the best tea that I’ve had today, so
congratulations Chick-Fil-A, you did it! Way to go! We air this on Sunday. They’re
not even watching right now. They’re, I don’t know what they do on Sundays.
Competitor number two is a little fast-food place called Sonic.
It’s America’s drive-in, or so they say. They’re kind of the only drive-in. Out of
the gate I’m going to tell you that Sonic is going to have the best ice of
all the competitors. This is pebble ice to the next level. It’s
tiny pebbles. It’s so perfectly small and pebbly. This is good. It’s a whole
experience with Sonic too. Let’s just love going, like pulling into spot, pressing that
red button and watching it light up. Hoping that it’s happy hour and your
drinks gonna be half off. This is a very plain tea. And I’m getting like a hint
of like raspberry or something. That’s not normal, that shouldn’t be in tea.
This definitely tastes like there’s just one giant machine that makes all of the
10,000 drink combinations that they have. And someone just ordered something
raspberry flavored before this tea. I mean it’s drinkable for sure. It could
use a little more sugar and a lot less hint of raspberry. I’m disappointed in
Sonic, cause Sonic ice automatically moves it up to the front of the pack here. This uhh. . .
this is definitely not better than Chick-Fil-A. Is raspberry real thing?
Do you get raspberries like from a raspberry tree, or something? Or is that
made up? I don’t know, this I’ll take your word for it raspberries,
maybe you’re real and if you real get out of my tea. There you go. Contestant
number 3, Bojangles. Bo time!! Thank You mysterious hand. Bojangles as far as
I’m aware is the only competitor today that you could buy a gallon of tea from
that restaurant. So they take tea pretty seriously. You get three dozen pieces of
chicken, two dozen biscuits, and a half gallon of tea. I call it my lunch special.
But I think it’s like the family pack or something, or just a really hungry “Matt
pack.” This is a big old chunk ice. It’s church fellowship hall ice right here.
People, some people say ice is ice. Those people are idiots. It’s . . . it’s probably
got the right amount of sugar. It just needs more tea flavor into it. It’s
got, I’m tasting basically like sugar water right now. I don’t know if they
make tea fresh at Bojangles or not. This is a little weaker than I like.
Again, I mean it’s famous chicken and biscuits. They make no mention of their
tea. It’s just not doing it for me, and it makes me sad. Cue sad music.
The fact that Bojangles is most certainly not going to win this contest,
because I’m going to say that they’re even behind Sonic. There tea is not
really better and they certainly don’t have good ice. I’m not alone that when
you finish your drinks sometimes you want to chew on your ice. This is not good
ice chew. This makes your mouth too cold. Sometimes you can’t get it in your mouth. It’s
too big. See!
Bojangles you let me down. You also made my mouth a really, really cold. I’m sure
we’ll have worse tea today, but so far this is not the best. It’s not
even close to the best. I’m gonna be honest right now this is kind of where
we’re at. Palate cleanser. Competitor number four, the golden arches, Mickey D’s. Ba-da-da-da-bahhhh! This cup should be styrofoam. It’s already sweating so much. That’s the thing,
this is a whole nother thing right here, and I can’t grade him on it
cuz I’m because I’ve seen McDonald’s styrofoam cups before. I think they
still have them. But if you’re in the South you really need to have styrofoam cups.
This thing will be sweating like me basically from the moment they hand it to
you the drive-through, it’s already just dripping. That’s what keeps the ice in there.
That’s what keeps your tea cold. So it keeps it from just a puddle of water
happening in your cup holder. I cannot tell from the smell this is got
like the Chick-Fil-A smell. Like you smell the tea. That’s good, I don’t want
to smell Styrofoam. Raspberries. Tea. That’s good, that’s a good sign I’ve
already have high hopes for this, and I know that there is a very devout
following of McDonald’s sweet tea fans out there. The only people who get
excited about McDonald’s are 7-year-olds. As an adult there’s not much to love
about McDonald’s. It’s just kind of there and sometimes they get your order right.
Also the ice at McDonald’s, I was expecting, I think in my mind, for some reason, I was
remembering McDonald’s having these giant chunks of ice like Bojangles has
here. But it’s not, it’s like a thinner crunchier version of that. Pinkies out!
That’s pretty good tea. I’m not gonna lie. This is way better than I thought it
would be. Oh man, this is pretty solid tea! And I’m kind of mad at myself for liking
something from McDonald’s. Also this, is the giant word bacon on the
side gets me excited too, for no reason at all. It could use this kind of
blasphemy. A little less sugar, but, and I think that’s a common complaint I hear
with McDonald’s tea. You either love it, or you thinking that’s too much sugar in
it. I’m in that camp of I think you could probably use a little less sugar, but
they’re not skimping on the tea. It’s all there. There’s a good ratio of water to
tea flavor, and I’m fan of this ice. This is crunchable ice. You’re hearing that
crunch. I chipped a tooth . . . and I feel like I’m going to destroy the
credibility of Bless Your Rank by placing McDonald’s pretty high in
literally anything. This tea was made with love, ice pretty good, not Sonic level
ice. It’s the only thing probably gonna keep Sonic right here. Tea very good. Not
Chick-Fil-A good. Definitely made with love, but maybe not prayed over. So I’m
going to say that McDonald’s tea is currently in second place. Contestant
number five comes from Popeye’s. I thought I could make it rhyme, but that
doesn’t rhyme. I just thought about Popeye’s fried
chicken and I got excited. But then I remembered, I’m not eating chicken today that’s . . .
I got sad again. Put some pop in your pocket. What? Take a look at that ice
there. It’s somewhere in between Bojangles and McDonald’s ice. You would
be real ashamed if someone gave us unsweet for this test. This is sweet
I can tell. Is it weird that I’d taste Cajun flavor in my tea? I don’t mind it. I
mean it’s not bad, and I’m not lying to you right now , that when I taste this I
taste Popeye’s Chicken. I’m pretty sure that’s not in my brain. And it’s not a
bad thing and now I’m starting to wonder if fried chicken flavored sweet tea
should be a thing. I’m just thinking about chicken. Sorry. This is good tea it’s not
watered down which is important. It can probably use just a little bit more
sugar. The ratio is not that far off. Tea flavors good. The little hint of chicken
is, is delicious. If you are a vegan I would suggest you not drink this. You’re
probably breaking whatever oath you’ve made to your vegan God. You know what, I’m
having really hard time deciding if this should be, like where it should fall here.
With these two. It’s definitely not in this pack. I’m probably gonna come down to
the ice. Mmm yeah! This is currently in third place.This has got chicken
flavor. Six! Competitor number six, Zaxby’s! Zaxby’s! This is fun to say, Zaxby’s!
Zatterrains! Zaxxxxbeys!! Anything with a Z fun to say.
Xylophone! That’s an X. Again, with the not styrofoam cup. It’s just this bothers me,
and there are some Zaxby’s ice fans out there. Look at that ice. It’s likely the
same pebble type as Sonic, it’s less uniform in shape. But as far as like
general size, and I’m sure crunchiness, is gonna be on par. Smell . . . it’s kind of it’s
like weak. I mean I can smell the tea, which is a lot more that I can say for
the other competitors. Crunchiness of the ice . . . Still good. Volume all the way up. Matt ice
ASMRs. Matt’s getting real cold milk (crunch sound) Mouths getting real cold now. Wooooh! This is as close but I’m gonna say based
on ice and just that I know that this is something I rarely do on Bless Your Rank,
but I’m gonna give Zaxby’s a little bit of a pass here. Because whatever they
have brewed this tea with is some good tea. And I know that the ratio was just
tweak just a little bit better, it would be in first place. But it’s not and so I
will settle for it being in third place. There’s a lot of liquid on this table.
Our final competitor, number seven, Whata- burger. This is actually a small at
Whataburger. In case you didn’t know. A large sweet tea at Whataburger is a
bucket. For scale, and I have a giant head this is a giant tea. Look at that. It’s
heavy too. Like a human head it’s full of tea. God it makes it, that’s like, that’s a
small earthquake. Ice this is Bojangles ice in here. This is a Bojangles ice. Well
this is the first time I’ve ever been disappointed with a Whataburger. That has
some big ice. To be fair Texas doesn’t really know how to do anything small.
Smelling the tea? Wait oh no, that smells sour. Oh no Whataburger.
What have you done? I don’t want to drink it now. Y’all know you get a hold of some
bad sweet tea and it turned sour. Sweet tea can turn sour. They made
this four days ago. All right, down the hatch. (gags)I feel
like I’ve just been like cheated on or something. Like this, this is
heartbreaking. I love Whataburger. Turn the cameras off.
My nose did not deceive me this tea is sour, but this is inexcusable. I don’t
have to taste this anymore do I? I’m having like a crisis right now.
I’m so mad. I’m so mad and I’m sad, there’s just so many emotions right now. Well this is most
certainly . . . Ohhhh! In last place. I would expect that
from a Burger King or a Taco Bell. That’s why they’re not even up here. In
conclusion what we’ve learned today, that Chick-Fil-A has the absolute best sweet
tea of all the fast food restaurants. And really when you think about it that
kind of makes sense, but I feel pretty good about this. And now I’m going to do
something that should have been done a long time ago. And let’s make the
ultimate sweet tea with Chick-Fil-A tea and Sonic ice. This is gonna get really
messy. Here we’ll use this garbage can. Tastes like my hand. It is pretty good.